I first became aware of the difference between managing and leading after conducting an appraisal meeting early in my career. The employee was stellar and the document I presented to her reflected my extreme satisfaction with her work. As we went through each category and I continued to offer praise, I noticed she didn’t seem as excited as I had anticipated. As we came to a close, and I enthusiastically offered, “Keep up the good work” (with a huge grin on my face, hoping she would return the gesture) she looked at me and said, “Aren’t you going to tell me what I can do to improve? I want to continue to grow and develop. There must be something you can suggest.”
At that moment, the silence in my small corner office was deafening. I was paralyzed.
I was a young, inexperienced supervisor; it never occurred to me that my employees would expect, or that they deserved, for me to serve as a catalyst of personal excellence and achievement. I thought it was my job to set expectations and ensure they were met and that it was their job to find opportunities for themselves if they wanted to improve or advance.
As I sat across from the employee, her eyes penetrating as she waited for my response, I somehow mustered a response; a lame one at that. “Well, there are some projects coming up the pipeline. When they do, I’ll be sure to let you know.” At that moment, I just wanted the meeting to be over. I needed to wallow alone in my office, which I did once she left. I spent the remainder of the day questioning why I ever thought I could be an effective manager.
Fast forward to the present. Reflecting back, can I say that I was a good manager? Sure. I met deadlines, I clearly communicated expectations, I held people accountable when they didn’t perform and I generated innovative projects that resulted in success for my department and the company as a whole. What I lacked was the ability to lead.
Managing others is a position; leading them is a responsibility. The two go hand in hand.
As managers we should inspire by modeling the behavior we want others to demonstrate. We should motivate by offering encouragement and providing opportunities for growth and development. We should gain trust by being transparent when possible, admitting when we’re wrong or when we don’t know the answer, and by advocating for our employees and for what we know is right. We should be innovators by stretching the limits of imaginations and by continually searching for new and exciting opportunities. We should coach by providing feedback with insight, and by leading others to an awareness of their own answers and capabilities. And, we should be visionaries by seeing the potential in others that they don’t see in themselves.
Too often, people accept the role of (or aspire to be) a manager without the knowledge, ability, or desire to lead. If you don’t have the knowledge, observe, read, and inquire. If you don’t have the ability, learn. If you don’t have the desire, find other means of advancement.
Managers need to stop thinking their job is done once all the boxes are checked. If I could rewind and go back to the meeting with my employee, armed with the awareness I have now, the outcome would have been different; she wouldn’t have needed to ask the question. She would have had continuous opportunity for growth and development, as I would have recognized my responsibility to inspire and lead her towards greatness.
Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence. Sheryl Sandberg, author of “Lean In.”
Dina Maloney is co-founder of EPIC Coaching and Consulting, a firm that Empowers People through Insight and Change. The company assists people who are ready to evaluate themselves and/or their businesses, create a plan for improvement and make the necessary changes for maximum results.